Yo se Antigua

I left Australia Saturday and arrived in Antigua, Guatemala Monday morning 6am. I had two Saturdays, one in Australia and on a plane and one in L.A, if I had people to play with I would say that this should happen every week, the perfect weekend.

By the end of my second day in Antigua I had managed to….

• Survive Venice Beach in L.A and not get recruited for the Freak Show on the Esplanade, although I think I’ll drop my Resume in there on the way back through.
• Wake up to my 3rd country in 4 days.
• Meet 3 ridiculously hot Antiguan men, each of whom go to or are personal trainers at one of the local gyms.
• Join the gym.
• View a hundred more hot Antiguan men at the gym.
• Spend a significant amount of time wondering if all of these hot Antiguan men are gay because they’re so hot and muscly.
• Complete a yoga class despite it being run by a gorgeous German girl speaking solamente en Espanol and being distracted by all of the hot, muscly Antiguan men everywhere. (This is not a comic theme, this is a fact. Although maybe not a hundred of them. You know, they move around a lot in the gym so it's hard to pin down an exact number especially when you're jet lagged and trying to balance on one leg.)
• Complete 4 hours of Spanish class – y hablo solamente in Espanol – I have potentially never paid attention for that long in my life!
• Learn that it is ALWAYS mucho gusta, not mucho gutso which I have been saying for about 20 years.
• Learn that’s it’s not appropriate to say “Un hombre is muy caliente” because it has sexual connotations – meaning he’s hot n potentially horney.
• Say “Un hombre is muy caliente” to myself all afternoon.
• Estudio mi primero Salsa class con mi maestro muy caliente Manolo, not stepping on his feet or embarrassing myself too much – although I did say (in Spanish) that after studying so much Spanish and salsa in one day I had “La bomba” (the fireworks that continually go off all around the streets at all hours of the night n day) going off in my heart – instead of saying my head so he MAY have thought I have a huge, gigantic wet spot of a crush on him…
• Develop a huge, gigantic wet spot of a crush on my Salsa teacher.
• Not say “tu is muy caliente” to my Salsa teacher.
• Corrupt the other “students” who are staying in the house after dinner by announcing it was time to go up the road to Café No Se for drinks – I cannot believe they hadn’t been there or the other bars/cafes close by. Geeez..
• Sleep like the dead – in between roosters crowing in the early hours of the morning, church bells chiming in the early hours of the morning and Las bombas going off in the early hours of the morning.

If this pace continues I may not survive 3 weeks in Antigua. There’s some cliché about grabbing horns n riding hard? I might have even referred to it before, I have been known to get stuck on a theme…It’s to do with opportunities or experiences as opposed to sex. Dirty minds…I guess that means there’s a big chance of getting bucked off; getting bruised, broken, concussed, dead even, but it would not be a bad way to go.