Friday, April 13, 2012

Smash Bang Boom

A few weeks ago I got smashed by a student. It was interesting how shocking it was when volatile, aggressive, uncontrolled behavior is not that uncommon at our school or in our community. Or even in our society. But it was indeed shocking. I was shocked.

Why was I shocked? The day before my colleague was verbally abused by a student who was physically intimidating and extremely violent in his threats. His threats were so abusive that she was sent home for her own safety- as it was impossible to remove him in the state he was in. This was shocking and not shocking, he has been verbally abusive towards staff before, not regularly, maybe twice in the 2 years I’ve been here. He is one of my students and he has never been disrespectful or aggressive in my class or towards me in any way. I sit beside him and help him with his work, he is clever and articulate but has difficulty getting his ideas into English words on the paper. He is funny and makes jokes, he is restless and regularly walks in late, walks out “I need water Annalea” (“I’ve had enough for now and am going to smoke in the toilets now Annalea”). He is strong in culture and has a family who is very powerful in the community. He plays football and goes hunting. And apparently he would like to smash up my colleague, kill her dogs, kill her potentially…A shocking but perhaps not surprising glitch in the never-normality of our lives…

So the day after I was on lunch duty and while my back was turned and I was putting stinky uniform shirts into the laundry basket (because part of having a Masters in Education means I get to do students’ washing every day) when suddenly I felt an incredible force hit me from behind and my head snapped all the way backwards then flipped all the way forwards again. I was shocked and confused enough to think:

• Wow, I didn’t know my head could go back so far.
• What just happened?
• That was so hard my hair has fallen out of it’s sad excuse of a hair clip (this is not surprising, my hair falls out of anything at the slightest excuse – I can bite down on an almond and it all falls out)
• I wonder if I just looked as freaky as the little girl out of the Exorcist movie whose head does a 360.
• What just happened?
• Oooooh, that’s gonna hurt…

So I turned around to see what happened and an irate kid who had been doing the wrong thing – and was severely pissed off for being reminded he was doing the thing – was being held back by an older student and yelling “Fuck you! I’m going to fucking smash you!” And I thought:
• Smash me? Again? But you just did!
• Right, he’s extremely mad, get the fuck out of here.
• What just happened?

So I walked out very quickly only to have students yelling out at me and pointing behind me. I turned to see the irate boy coming after me with a wheelie bin yelling “Fuck you! I’m going to fucking smash you! I’m going to fucking kill you!” and I wondered:
• If he’s still threatening to smash me and hasn’t actually done it again, does that mean he’s calming down?
• Even if he can lift that bin, is he strong enough to throw it at me?
• How fast can I run in thongs?

So it was pretty awful. I felt pretty awful – and extremely sore, my first experience of whiplash. Apparently even though it was interesting to see how far my neck can go backwards without snapping it isn’t an unplanned experiment that should be repeated unless I want to walk around with Frankenstein-like stiffness. And it was awful having to decide what to do in response to the incident particularly, what to accept and what to challenge. What to take a stand on or ignore and walk away from.

But I don’t think it was an incident only possible because it involved a particular boy from a particular place or culture. I have felt that threat of violence before – in Melbourne bars after 12pm, towards me/other staff and other students at my previous job in a mainstream middle class school, from the type of guy or girl that is a bad drunk and gets argumentative and aggressive, at a game of footy – on the field and off. I don’t blame a boy or place or culture, I may blame aspects of a society that throws money at a problem then turns it’s back when that hasn’t worked and offers jail as a consequence. Ultimately that violence is there, we all know it, we have all sensed it. I don’t know what or if we can really do anything about that part of human nature. The only thing I really know is that it was shocking – it’s not the norm for me, for most of the students, for other staff, other people in the community, for most of us it’s not acceptable and that at least is a positive.


Some people come here and think they can change the world all by themselves-that’s annoying – but others think we can’t make any difference at all. They’re both full of shit, there are incidents every day that allow for hope, change – for an individual or group. Things that happen that are awesome and awful, that we have no control over, but then we can choose and that can make or not make the difference.