Things I Will Miss Part 1.

My Tiwi adolescents.

Absorbed in the unusual:

Pulling at the hairs on my arms – dark on light: Look!

Pulling at the hair on my head: Annaleee – wear it down! No – don’t cut it! It’s too long! Wear it up! Your hair is too messy! Your hair is beautiful!

Pulling at my earrings, my rings, my bracelets, my locket, my belt – to touch, to hear, to feel.

The constant snuggling up, leaning in, leaning on.

Cuddling with head on my shoulder as they scratch at the nits in their hair.

Rubbing at my tattoo while I’m trying to help them with their work: what I this? What does it say? Annaleee! You have tattoo! This your family? (No, but a great idea…)

Rubbing at the scars on my knuckles with gentleness despite scabbies-stiff hands.

Pinching my arms – for the muscle, for the fat, for the tattoo.

Teaching me how to “plaster” their huge, painful boils – giving me their legs, feet, armpits..

The way they feel everything so strongly – one minute so loving and happy, the next the whole world can fuck off – a little familiar..

Their awesome awesome dance moves – equally enthusiastic about pumping out some M.J or Crocodile moves as they move around class.

Paying no attention when I tell them off, instead telling me: Your eyes-why they like that? Annaleee! Your eyes are strange! Take those contacts out! (Threatening to poke me in the eye). Annaleee! You have spots in your eyes!

Sharing their pride – Annaleee! I caught a wallaby/turtle/fish..got Mangrove worms/my P’s!

Yelling yelling yelling: Too boring! Why? No! Yes! Annaleee! I feel weak!

Watching them grow from excruciating shyness, unable to answer a question- Nah, you’re right – to bursting out with ideas and confidence all over the classroom.

All demanding help at once.

What seems like a hundred footballs in the air all at once every time you’re outside.

Sneaking up and holding my hand as we walk to the canteen.

Giving me the high 5 grasp or the Tiwi shake as we cross paths.

Being able to tell them how clever/smart/wonderful they are.

Kimberley telling me: Annaleee! I have a story for you!

Pio who lightly punches my arm ‘cause he knows I’ll mock yell Ahhhhh! And he yells with me – a beautiful unison.

Mara telling me as she walks out the door: Love you!

All yelling with huge, booming, song voices and beautiful inflection: Annaleee! Nah, nothing…– just to be heard, just to be seen.

Which is what we all want, what we all need and what I will miss, the absolute thereness I have when I am with them, how much they make me exist.

And how much they let me love them.