A friend of mine has on his wall a photo of
himself inside this huge barrel wave. On a surfboard of course. Not just
hanging around drinking coffee. I love the picture because it is a picture of
someone who is totally, one hundred percent, in the moment. As a photo he is
snapped still but not passive, clearly fully involved in a moment of amazing.
And being fully in, yet alone really
experiencing a moment, is hard. We tend to be either regretting/reflecting on a
past moment or worrying/looking forward to a future moment and meanwhile we
miss all the potentially amazing moments we’re actually in. I’ve been trying
very deliberately for years to appreciate the present moments, not necessarily
because they’re good but because they’re my life and that’s the only one I’ve
got. Also because another ridiculously
insightful friend told me that any time spent regretting or wishing (reflecting
is OK!) on the past was a complete waste of time because no matter what we will
never, ever, ever change it. I always knew this but forgot it quite a bit, more
out of habit probably – so many mornings with the beer-niggles conditions you a
bit to close your eyes against the recent past and wince. Not so often now
thanks Obi Wan Hock.
I’m much better at it than I used to be, in
the past my thoughts would flash around so fast I couldn’t even be in the same
time zone as my moments, but a bit of age, a bit of suffering, a shitload of
travel and some yoga breathing means I can really appreciate a good moment. My
most recent favorite: diving into the amazing, croc free blue ocean of Portugal
despite being warned it is the coldest locals have experienced in a billion
years. HA HA! I mocked, I’m Victorian! I have swum in Warrnambool in the
winter! So in I ran and the cold sucked all the air out of me and gave me the
equivalent of a brain freeze in all of my internal organs. There was a moment
of sharp, painful, exhilarating, mind blowing cold. And I burst out of the
water laughing and choking and spluttering and snorting like a mermaid on
crack. It was a moment of feeling
totally alive and alove with the world.
But it still ain’t easy, my last session of
yoga was about being very present in the moment and breathing through any pain
in your body– the idea being that you only feel pain as it’s leaving your body.
After three days of travelling and many hours of trying to sleep horizontally
while being vertical there was a bit of pain to get the fuck out of my body. Which
was great, so I was breathing and accepting and almost asleep while sitting up
again when:
Brain: Hmmm, I wonder if they’re doing
those fish tacos at The Green Room again today, I’m pretty hungry, I could go a
couple for lunch.
Yoga teacher: If you feel your mind
beginning to fill with thoughts, go back to the breathing, feel the pain and
empty your mind of thoughts.
Brain: Fish tacos fish tacos fish tacos.
So a little bit more work to be done. To
totally overuse a metaphor – which I very much enjoy doing- I’m thinking that a
moment is a bit like a really cool bar with comfy couches and chairs and stuff.
Sometimes we stick our heads in to see who’s there, sometimes we walk straight
through to the dunnies, sometimes we prop at the bar and watch the TV screen on
the wall. There might be those who stumble through and don’t even realize due
to overindulging. I would like to be in a big old beanbag in the middle, arse
fully settled on and reassuringly supported by the beans, drink in hand. I
wouldn’t mind if I was in the way really, or if someone tripped over me, it could
make for an interesting conversation (in my metaphor moments I won’t get
punched in the face for being annoying). I’d like to be able to see and speak
to everyone if I want of just watch them hanging out. I’d like to be totally in
it and seeing and feeling all of it.
So while I sit in yet another airport
drinking a really ordinary coffee I am fully prepared and on the verge of rip
roaring excitement to experience a few barrel moments in Morocco. I am going to
take a big yoga breath and suck it all in thanks very much.
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